There are members of a select group of fraternities & sororities who are very familiar with the quote above, or some variation of it. I was reminded of it earlier this week when my nephew sent a text asking me ‘what are excuses’. My sister, who is also familiar with the quote, knew that if she sent her son to ask me, I would respond with the quote above.

Excuses are some of the easiest things in the world to manufacture, unfortunately they aren’t worth much and they do us more harm than good. When it comes to your career, what are some of the excuses you hold onto? Do you recognize them as excuses?

I remember a time when I would try to justify my excuses by calling them “reasons“. Looking back, I felt that it sounded better and made it seem like I had no control over outcomes; today I can honestly admit that I was holding myself back by using that approach.

The lack of an updated resume is a very common “reason” causing professionals to delay their career search. The myth of the “perfect” resume also tends to stop job seekers in their tracks. I refer to it as a myth because of the countless job seekers who believe that recruiters only look for a specific resume format. Fortunately, that couldn’t be further from the truth.

If you ever want to start a debate between a group of recruiters, ask them to describe the components of the ‘perfect resume‘. To take the debate further, ask them if the resume should include an “Objective”, a “Summary of Qualifications”, or if you should forego using either. Chances are, you’ll get a variety of responses from the people you ask, and they’ll support their opinions with very valid arguments. I bring this up to highlight the fact that there are a variety of opinions that exist in the Human Resources industry regarding resumes. Assuming that there is a “perfect resume format” basically implies that every recruiter & hiring manager has the exact same opinion, and that’s obviously not the case. Delaying your career search because of a desire to satisfy the needs of the entire industry will only hurt you in the long-run.

For those of you who place great value in the feedback you receive from friends that “work in HR“, keep in mind that it’s likely there are recruiters & hiring managers who assess resumes differently and might even disagree with your friends’ resume recommendations. I don’t want to discount the importance of having your resume reviewed by a professional, because in most cases it’s very valuable, but at some point you’ve gotta pull the trigger and click “submit”. That’s the only way you’re truly putting your resume to the test and giving yourself a chance. Remember, “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

It’s also important to be mindful of the amount of time you take to create/update your resume. While you have good intentions, and simply want to put your best foot forward, it’s also important to be aware of the number of people running ahead of you while you’re preparing to take that first step. Ironically, holding onto your resume until it’s “perfect” may still bring about the rejection you’re trying to prevent. Instead of being rejected because of the quality of your resume, you’re rejected because the position is filled. Same outcome, and probably the same rejection letter.

Thousands of career seekers miss out on opportunities because they’re hesitant to submit their resume for employment consideration. This blog post is for those of you being held hostage by the resume feedback cycle, where everyone you ask for feedback or advice, gives you just that: “feedback and advice”. Always remember that your resume is meant to sell you when you’re not there to sell yourself. The most important feedback you receive will often come from someone involved in the hiring process for the company you’re interested in, or a Career Advisor who is familiar with the company’s needs. When you start listening to resume feedback from friends who justify their recommendations with “this is how I did my resume and it worked for me“, it’s imperative that you compare your work experience with their work experience. Your friend’s work experience may have played a larger role in their employment success than they realized. The format they used may not be the best format for you to use.

The experience you have to offer is just as important, if not more important, than the type of format you choose to use on your resume. Many experienced recruiters can spot the experience they’re looking for on a resume within seconds. They know which companies produce the best employees to target, and which position titles are the most relevant to the role they’re looking to fill. It’s up to you to give recruiter’s a chance to review your resume, and that starts with applying to open positions that interest you.

Don’t let your resume become the excuse for stalling your career growth… If you’ve worked long and hard, have several years of valuable experience, and you’re thinking about making a move, don’t hesitate to test the employment waters. Your resume is the bait, and one of the best ways to test its effectiveness is to apply for open positions. Just remember that the work doesn’t stop when you click submit, that’s actually when the real work begins… After you submit your resume, the next order of business is to get it looked at by the employer, and hopefully get a call or secure an interview. But that’s a topic for a future blog post…

Until next time…

-R

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It all started a few weeks ago while on my way to Portland, Maine for work. I had been running late for my flight and ended up skipping lunch to make it in time. While in the air, I sat in my seat watching as the flight attendant made her way down the aisle offering snacks and beverages to passengers. I was starving, yet when she reached me I felt a pang of guilt rush over me as I asked for more than one snack. I asked her for one bag of peanuts AND a packet of cookies. With a smile she obliged and the guilt eventually went away as I enjoyed my snacks. It was at that moment that it hit me… In all my years of traveling with Delta, and all my years feeling ‘greedy’ and ‘guilty’ for requesting two snacks, the flight attendants never said ‘no‘ to me. Where was the guilt coming from? More importantly, was my guilt causing me to miss out on more?

As simple as it may seem, that realization led to a major breakthrough for me. When faced with an opportunity to ask for what I want, I hesitate…

For the rest of my flight, I couldn’t stop thinking about my tendency to hesitate. So many questions ran through my mind. Where else did that hesitation exist in my life? What else was I afraid to ask for? Which areas of my life were being affected by those feelings?

I got to the office the next day and decided to share the snack story with my colleagues. I asked them all the following question: “When on a flight, how do you typically respond when asked if you want ‘Peanuts, Pretzels, or Cookies’?”

The discussion that followed was eye opening for me. I was amazed to hear stories of my coworkers asking for ‘1 of each’, or ‘2 peanuts and 2 cookies’, or asking for the entire can of soda instead of just a cup.. AMAZING!! All this time I was feeling guilty about asking for two snacks, when in reality some of my coworkers were getting much more when flying! I realized at that moment that I’d grown comfortable with simply accepting what was given to me, rather than defining what I wanted and asking for it. The conversation with my coworkers inspired the creation of the “Biscoff Challenge“. (We all share a love for the Biscoff cookies offered on Delta flights)

The challenge we created was simple: step outside of your comfort zone and ask for more than you normally do. To add an extra layer to the challenge, we set one rule. When attempting the Biscoff Challenge, no one is to know the “why”behind your request; not before, not during, not after. In other words, don’t explain the challenge before asking for ‘more’, and don’t try to justify the reason for your request to the person you’re making the request of. The purpose of the rule is to ensure that the focus stays on you, and not the people around you. After the conversation with my colleagues, I knew what I had to do. My mission on the next flight was to ask for 3 packs of Biscoff cookies.

So why the challenge?

Too often, many of us sacrifice our own satisfaction for the sake of how we might be perceived, or to avoid making the people around us feel uncomfortable. It’s possible that we mirror our own personal judgments and reflect them back on ourselves. In my case, I didn’t want to be perceived as greedy; asking for more than 2 snacks triggered something inside of me that resulted in those feelings of greed & guilt. This challenge was meant to help me gain more power over those feelings in an effort to choose my ideal response; I encourage you to give it a try for the same reason. Being unselfish is a characteristic that I love about myself, but I also think it’s important to feel comfortable choosing “me” first sometimes. Before we can expect others to make us a priority, we must be comfortable making ourselves the priority without hesitation. That’s the most important lesson in all of this.

So was I able to complete the challenge?

Short answer… YES! This week I successfully completed the Biscoff Challenge! I sat in Row 2 (not First Class) on a small jet heading back to NYC and I waited for the question: “Peanuts, Pretzels, or Cookies?” The minute I saw the flight attendant setting up her cart, the feeling immediately kicked in: guilt. I thought to myself, “I’m in the front of the plane… What about the other passengers? What if they’re short on cookies, and asking for 3 packs means someone in the back won’t get any?” It’s amazing how something so small could stir up such strong emotions. I quickly got it together and shifted my thoughts to remind myself that this moment was about me, and me alone. I made sacrifices for others on numerous occasions throughout my life, this was my time to collect my reward: a third pack of Biscoff cookies. When the flight attendant arrived and asked the infamous question, I looked her in the eyes, and with a confident smile I responded “can I have three packs of cookies please?” Her eyes seemed to pop out at my request, and I felt the passenger next to me look at me in shock out of the corner of his eyes. It felt like an eternity, but I kept the smile on my face and did my best to ignore their perceived responses long enough to hear the answer I was looking for. She responded, “Sure!” I exhaled and appreciated the moment. Such a simple achievement, but an achievement nonetheless.. And it’s just the beginning!

Where are you experiencing similar hesitation? Do you truly know what you want out of life? In your career? In your relationships? How comfortable are you with asking for what you want without hesitation? I challenge you to step outside of your comfort zone and just ask. You never know… You just might get it!